Problem Solving Facts
We are all living in a world full of problems. Consequently, we have developed a problem-solving mindset or mentality, naively believing that by solving others' problems, we could also solve our very own. Nothing might be further from the truth.
To begin with, why are we beset by problems of all types -- health, relationships, money, politics, and careers problems, among many others? It really is because we are living in a complex world with complicated people and hard circumstances. Where do these problems come from? They all come from our minds, which process our experiences, and they become our memories stored in our subconscious minds. These memories affect how we presently think, act, and react. We erroneously believe that we make our own choices and decisions; the truth of the matter is that our past memories control and direct, to a good extent, our conscious minds when we make our daily life choices and decisions.
The explanation is that memories, both negative and positive ones, become our emotions, which ultimately create or become our problems -- even pleasant memories from the past. But how do pleasant memories cause us problems? To illustrate, should you have success in accomplishing something, the pleasant experience satisfies your ego, and that pleasant memory subconsciously makes you want to repeat fix your problems (simply click the next site) success down the road. That creates anticipation, as well as the requirement for more effort to ensure the reality of that outcome in the foreseeable future. The process may generate stress, frustration, and also disappointment -- the sources of more problems further down the road. If you look more deeply, the root cause of your problems is your ego, which you want to satisfy and protect; Without the ego, there could be no expectation, and no extra effort required to sustain that ego created by your memories, and, accordingly, there would be no stress. Consequently, you or your ego is the cause of all your problems, and also you are 100% accountable for them. Let go the ego.
During the process of solving our problems, we often strive to solve others' problems also, believing that solving theirs can also be instrumental in solving ours as well, because we erroneously believe that their problems may partly be accountable for ours too. Again, that will not work. Why not? It's because they, too, are 100% accountable for their own problems, just once we are responsible for ours. To illustrate, the Russians tried to solve the Ukrainians' problems through military intervention, while the Americans strove to solve the Russians' with sanctions; In the process, not just new issues tend to be created, but additionally the original ones remain unsolved. Solving others' problems is tantamount to "controlling" which never works in real-life. To illustrate, if a stranger says something provocative to you, you then become angry; your anger is your problem, not the stranger's. You cannot "control" precisely what the stranger says; your reaction may not even "stop" the provocation. So don't try to solve somebody else's problems (the stranger might have mental issues); solve your own first, for example reacting negatively to the provocation or controlling your anger.
As such, how do you solve your own problems without striving to solve others', or how do you stop believing that others' problems have become yours?
The answer is "awareness" or "mindfulness." The fundamental problem is the fact that we "allow" the thoughts of a past memory from our subconscious minds to tell us what to say, how to proceed, as well as the way to react. To paraphrase, our past memories unconsciously control our conscious minds. and we do nothing to stop that. Because of this, in the event the stranger within the above illustration says something we "think" is provocative because we might have encountered similar experiences before, we act accordingly to what we did before or what our past memories tell us. If we had no past memories of similar incidents, we could have no anger. We have been all judgmental; our minds remember what we did before and our action or reaction anticipates the expected outcome.
But once we become "aware" which it was no more than a memory, and not much of a reality, we might think differently with different perspective. Problem-solving will be around "awareness" -- what exactly is the problem? how serious is it? where does it come from? is there a solution (some problems have no solutions while they are beyond our control)? what will be the answer to it?
"Awareness" or "mindfulness" permits us understand better our very own problems and those of others but without attempting to solve them ourselves. For the sake of illustration, the aggressive stranger mentioned above might have had a bad-hair day under extreme stress (although that may not be a valid excuse for the aggressive behavior towards you); your "awareness" of your lack of information might change your reaction.
The bottom line: very often we create our own problems through our experiences, our mental interpretations of those experiences that have become our memories to continue to haunt us. Being in the present may go a very long way to helping us have clarity of mind towards our problems without striving to solve those of others. Problem-solving might not solve problems.
