Problem Solving Suggestions
We have been all living in a world full of problems. For this reason, we have developed a problem-solving mindset or mentality, naively believing that by solving others' problems, we could also solve our very own. Nothing may be further from the truth.
To begin with, why are we beset by problems of all types -- health, relationships, money, politics, and careers problems, among many others? It's because we are living in a complex world with complicated people and difficult circumstances. Where do these problems come from? They all come from our minds, which process our experiences, and they become our memories stored in our subconscious minds. These memories affect how we presently think, act, and react. We erroneously believe that we make our very own choices and decisions; the very fact of the matter is the fact that our past memories control and direct, to a great extent, our conscious minds as we make our everyday life choices and decisions.
The explanation is that memories, both negative and positive ones, become our emotions, which ultimately create or become our problems -- even pleasant memories from the past. But how do pleasant memories cause us problems? To illustrate, if you have success in accomplishing something, the pleasant experience satisfies your ego, and that pleasant memory subconsciously makes you want to repeat your success later on. That creates anticipation, and also the requirement for more effort to ensure the reality of that outcome in the foreseeable future. The process may generate stress, frustration, and even disappointment -- the sources of more problems further down the line. If you look more deeply, the root cause of your problems is your ego, that you just want to satisfy and protect; Without the ego, there would be no expectation, and no extra effort required to sustain that ego created by your memories, and, accordingly, there would be no stress. Because of this, you or your ego is the cause of all of your problems, and also you are 100 percent answerable for them. Let go the ego.
In the process of solving our problems, we often make an effort to solve others' problems as well, believing that solving theirs might also be instrumental in solving ours as well, because we erroneously believe that their problems may partly be responsible for ours too. Again, that doesn't work. Why not? It is while they, too, are 100% answerable for their own problems, just since we are responsible for ours. To illustrate, the Russians tried to solve the Ukrainians' problems through military intervention, while the Americans strove to solve the Russians' with sanctions; During the process, not just new troubles are created, but in addition the original ones remain unsolved. Solving others' problems is tantamount to "controlling" which never works in real-life. To illustrate, if a stranger says something provocative to you, you in turn become angry; your anger is your problem, not the stranger's. You cannot "control" what the stranger says; your reaction may not even "stop" the provocation. So do not attempt to solve someone else's problems (the stranger might have mental issues); solve your own first, such as reacting negatively to the provocation or controlling your anger.
Consequently, how do you solve your own problems without striving to solve others', or how do you stop believing that others' problems have become yours?
The answer is "awareness" or "mindfulness." The basic problem is that we "allow" the thoughts of a past memory from our subconscious minds to tell us what to say, how to handle it, and the way to react. Basically, our past memories unconsciously control our conscious minds. and we do nothing to stop that. Therefore, in the event the stranger within the above illustration says something we "think" is provocative because we might have encountered similar experiences before, we act accordingly to what we did before or what our past memories tell us. If we had no past memories of similar incidents, we would have no anger. We are all judgmental; our minds remember what we did before and our action or reaction anticipates the expected outcome.
But once we become "aware" that it was no more than a memory, and not only a reality, we might think differently with different perspective. Problem-solving is approximately "awareness" -- what exactly will be the problem? how serious is it? where does it come from? is there a solution (some problems have no solutions given that they are beyond our control)? what will be the answer to it?
"Awareness" or "mindfulness" lets us understand better our very own problems and additionally those of others but without attempting to solve them ourselves. For the sake of illustration, the aggressive stranger already mentioned might have had a bad-hair day under extreme stress (although that may not be a valid excuse for the aggressive behavior towards you); your "awareness" of your lack of information might change your reaction.
The bottom line: frequently we create our own fixing problems (by Seer Uscs Edu) through our experiences, our mental interpretations of those experiences that have become our memories to continue to haunt us. Being within the present may go a ways to helping us have clarity of mind towards our problems without striving to solve those of others. Problem-solving might not solve problems.
